A recent poll asking “is there a difference between Confidence and Self-Esteem” resulted in a:-

94% Yes

6% No

This clearly reflects a majority view that there is in fact a difference between the two.

It can be difficult to define these terms as they can easily meld together.  One voter explained the difference like this:-

“I think confidence is a feeling that you can do something, achieve something, know something… self esteem is how you feel about your self… sometimes they go together sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes you can be confident but have low self esteem.”

It is valuable to understand the difference between the two.

Confidence can be illustrated through many ways, such as using bravado, sharing of knowledge, sophistication or appearance.  You may have heard a term ‘fake it till you make it’ used as a powerful tool to motivate and help develop confidence for example, however I believe it comes with both a timeline and consequences.

The timeline is dependent upon the risks, benefits and value resulting in subsequent consequences.

For example, one possible risk of ‘faking it’ could be when consistent effort to portray an identity waivers leaving you feeling less than the desired outcome.

A possible benefit of ‘faking it’ is when you receive acknowledgement and/or accolade for a specific outcome.

That outcome is considerably valued and therefore expected which can be exhausting to maintain.

These consequences have the potential to leave you feeling doubtful, exhausted, frustrated, pressured and unfulfilled even though you portrayed ‘confidence’.

Self-Esteem on the other hand refers to your own likability.

I am fortunate to support many people in my role as a Kinesiologist and it is often the degree of self-likability that undermines a desired outcome.

For example the desire to change the relationship with food from ‘comfort eating’ to managing dependency to feel better and ultimately achieve personal goals.  It may seem odd to connect likability and comfort eating however comfort eating is a habit formed over many, many years and in my professional experience associated with emotional pain, punishment, guilt, resentment and shame.

When ‘life’ or a part thereof becomes overwhelming and difficult to manage, food is an available resource easily relied upon without judgement.  Food doesn’t judge.  Though what tends to occur is an ensuing avalanche of thoughts which generally includes judgement which perpetuates the personal dislike.  This dislike can sit dormant beneath the appearance of confidence until next time.


Live life with confidence and self-esteem in unison. Call for an appointment (03) 57229216.

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